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Saturday, September 3, 2011

Do you want change? Are you willing to remodel?

I used to be such a self help junkie and I read books, got inspired and nothing happened. I went to seminars, had private sessions and I wanted to believe the promises, but still nothing much changed. I didn't want to give up the struggle because that was woven into my identity. Then I learned a little about identity. Who we believe ourselves to be and how it keeps us in the problem.

A beautiful friend of mine is remodeling her home in Westwood, CA. It's a big project and it doesn't sound like it is always fun. In fact, things go wrong, they take more time and effort than she might have thought they would. It is something she has to think about and work on each day, instead of just letting someone else do it. I know when it is all done she will have an incredibly beautiful place because that is what she creates. She doesn't give up in projects like this. She rolls up her sleeves and she stays in the game. I'm sure other people might give up or not have it turn out the way they want and just settle.

How many people do settle with their physical body or their relationships or their jobs? How many people settle and let go of their dreams to just live day to day with the pain of not having what they want? They've let their identity slip into a place of discomfort knowing they could be living a different life but that would take effort.

Having your body be what makes you happy often takes effort until how you eat, what you eat and how you move around becomes part of who you are and no longer is effortful but easy for you. Just like my friends new home - Decide what it is that you want. Take actions to get it. Keep going even when it feels overwhelming and then celebrate when you reach that dream.

Then you will get a new dream but you will still have to maintain what you created. She isn't going to build this house just to then let it sit in disrepair after a few months. She will make sure it stays as lovely as she envisioned it with regular cleaning and fix-ups. You don't change your eating and exercise and then just let it all go - or have you? Stop it then, and get committed to who you want to be and allow yourself to shift your identity to be that from now on. Then you can just go play on the next dream and the next.

Often when you shift all areas of your life will shift along with that when you really step into being who you enjoy being. It's a much more fun game to play than struggle. Give it a whirl and let me know how you are getting on.

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