Monday, April 18, 2011

What's In Your Way?

Frequently people come to me for exactly what I have gone to get coaching for myself. We can't see what it is that is stopping us from having life be what we know would be more fun, and better in so many ways. We know there is a solution to the problems we face. The weight issues, the health matters, the relationships...

What do you make up that you have used as an excuse so often you think it is real? Money? Time? Kids? Husbands/Wives/Family? What is real is your thinking. Your thinking is creating your choices and if that changes, everything can change with it. If you are committed to thinking differently then you will want to take different actions.

Here's an example: Joan came to me wanting to lose weight. She was frightened and didn't want to spend too much on sessions so we started with one. She liked it so much and felt so much better that she up-graded herself to four. What we got her to realize was how she was holding onto thinking things ought to be a certain way. The way they had been all her life. She was imbued with ideas that were keeping her eating certain amounts and spending in certain ways. She realized that she was a hoarder. She hoarded the little she had thinking that getting more would be difficult. It stemmed from having two big brothers who were not shy at grabbing what they wanted. She always felt like she was getting the leftovers. (And she got a life like that.)

It was a stretch for her to put her sessions on a credit card. She knew that she could pay off the amount but it wasn't comfortable. Even paying her monthly rent and utilities was never comfortable. She waited until the very last minute when things were due, because she never wanted to pay them. That first week after her session she sold some of her crafts online that had not sold much at all. She got more than enough to pay for her sessions. She also tried a few of the foods I suggested and lost some weight. She was so delighted with her results each week that she quit.

This too is something I have experienced. I worked with one of my coaches on and off for years because I didn't stay put and take her coaching fully, or stay long enough to let it sink in so I didn't get what I wanted from her and I jumped ship and tried something else. Then I realized how valuable she had been. Joan came back a year later and again had miraculous results with a few sessions and quit.

Each time she told herself that she didn't want to spend the money or take the time to do the work I was suggesting because it was causing her fear to come up. Her fears about having what she wanted, and her fears of not enough were bigger than her desire to really go for her dreams.

So what is it that you put in your way? Do you use the money excuse or the time excuse? Do you wait for someone to approve of your new life? What are you willing to do today to jump in and have it? Are you ready to be someone who doesn't have to live in a box where everyone else can see the ingredients list and instructions except you? Take some action right now towards your dreams.

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