I just had a frustrating experience where I have to say I sacrificed myself to be "nice". How many times have I done this before - oh thousands, I'm sure. The girl I am subletting an apartment from keeps over promising and under delivering and I have been so "nice" going along with her. It's an incredibly over complicated situation simply because she wants to be accommodating and get what she wants at the same time and she keeps leaving out information or not following through on what she has said completely. So what is the lesson? To learn to be more direct and strong.
Direct and strong can be fun, playful and simply clear. This is such a big element that so many of us miss at times, and it can undermine your progress in any area of your life. When you are clear then nothing will blow you over or have you eating too much or the wrong things. When you are clear, direct and strong you will get more of what you want than when you are wishy washy. Wishy washy will keep you in hope and fear. This is uncomfortable and currently where I am sitting with this situation. The unpleasantness has me looking at it more closely so I can grow myself into being who I want to be. If I am clear and strong in my relationships than those around me can simply enjoy what I have to offer and everything will be more fun. There is more energy in clarity. The same goes for business, school, your body, your home, your health, everything.
Getting clear about what you want sometimes takes these situations that you don't want to get very specific about what you do want. Take advantage of those but don't wait. Begin now getting clear and stepping into being who want to be. If you want to be more slender get clear about what that looks like, what you want it for, and what you are willing to do to have it. The strong part is the commitment.
Getting clear is also getting committed to being who you want to be and not who you have been that doesn't work for your anymore. If you have not been exercising but have gotten clear that you want to be someone who exercises, when the resistance hits, you go exercise anyway. You keep your word. Keeping your word to yourself and those around you no matter how inconvenient that might seem. Sure it would be easier to sleep in rather than get to the Pilate's class you enjoyed. Sure it might seem like a better idea for you to wait, do things at another time. No. If you said it, stick to it and if that is really impossible than renegotiate and be very clear in how you do that.
No wishy washy, skipping the issue, being vague or in anyway unclear. That stuff will bite you in the ass. It's biting me right now as the girl who said she would have her furnishings out last night and was renting movers, decided (without telling me) that she was going to wait and see if she could sell the things before moving them out. Maybe she was hoping on second glace I would change my mind and want them? Who knows. Her vagueness is frustrating me because I can't make plans. I can't go shopping and get set up and plan the move in. My mistake was being "nice" and not telling her very clearly and directly (and nicely) to stick to her word. Then I get angry behind her back just as she keeps changing he tune without telling me. It sets up a very bad cycle. This is exactly the same thing so many people do to themselves. Then they eat over it, or get angry at someone else or do something to get back at the person who started it. Instead bring back the clarity and tell the truth. For those of you who have read countless pieces on the benefits of forgiveness. The forgiveness will come when that truth is exposed. Clarity fosters forgiveness.
There is always a next level to reach in our lives. We are never perfect or done. The trick is to learn to be happy at each stage and use the angry, frustrating moments to learn from and propel you into an even better place. I invite you to join me in this game right now. It feels great to be clear and feel the energy of it. Magic and miracles then have a place to ride in.