Saturday, March 27, 2010

Steps To Love

"It's all love" has gotten to be such a warped new age sounding overused phrase or idea. It is true. Love is an energy and that energy is universal and everywhere. So what does that have to do with eating well or living better? Finding out where you can allow love a little more is often a wonderful answer to feeling better, living better and eating less quantity or more of the things that are beneficial.

This works. It works if you allow yourself to play a new game in your life where you open up to love. Self love. It starts with self love. The outside world is giving you terrific feedback on how you are doing with this self love. I personally was not taught this. Quite the opposite. I was taught self loathing or at least not completely loving ones self was how you kept things going. If you toot your own horn I was taught no one would like you and when young that is equatable to perishing on the spot. Other people were responsible for loving you and it was your job to be worthy of that love. I have discovered what I was taught is a load of _________!

If you find yourself over eating or not getting good foods into yourself, who is responsible? You are. If you find that relationships are not satisfying or you hear yourself saying men are this or women are that as an excuse for not having love in your life, who is the real culprit? You are. I'm as guilty as the next person of pushing love aside for my ego and for simply living in the culture we are swimming in. A culture that likes to blame and indulge and hide instead of loving.

I assigned a game you might recognize to a client a couple of weeks ago. The assignment was to keep a log every night. Every night she might write out a very similar list to the previous night but the list was to list all of the positive attributes that she could give to herself such as "I have beautiful eyes, I dance well, I have a nice laugh, etc." Anything she wanted to put on the list was fair game as long as she believed it and it was positive. No or not must be excluded. Instead of saying "I don't make a mess like my brother", she was to say, "I'm neat." Now I gave her this assignment knowing it was good for both of us so I told her I would take it on too. By telling her it gave me even more impetus to do it. I am writing in my notebook every single night. I'm noticing how it is opening things up. Slowly. It's subtle. The outpicturing will come in time. These are the daily baby steps to getting there. Another step I assigned to her was to start noticing where her thoughts might be less than loving towards other and shift! Shift the thinking as soon as the noticing occurs. Shift the feelings associated with the thinking. Heighten the good feelings and then leave it alone.

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