I've been listening to Dr. Hu Len this weekend. He is fun to listen to and a great reminder of how we see what we are being. If it is in our experience than it is really coming from inside of us. Some of my first teachers of behavior taught this. The part they did not explain well was how to do anything about it.
Now in my own coaching I hear students lament about their diets, their ailments, their weight and just about everything else in their lives. When I ask them to make a list of things that make them happy or things they enjoy or even good things about themselves, they can not do it. They want to keep looking outside of themselves for entertainment, love, and fulfillment. I was like them.
Hey I grew up in this culture that continually sends us messages to look outside of ourselves. Go get a pill. Go find the answer. Go go go go go. I did go. I continue to search. It seems to come back though to going inside rather than out.
Of course, with food, I need to go and get my food from the outside. What I choose and where I choose though will be dictated by what is going inside of myself. I mentally try on the food before I choose. I check in with my body and what it might need or desire. I think about possible consequences of the food options and I choose what feels best for me at the time. This might sound lengthy but it isn't. How the foods settles will also be influenced by my thoughts. Those unconscious thoughts.
That really is the stuff showing us who we are being. Does someone you know experience people being snooty often? Do you know anyone who seems to always get the short end of the stick? What about someone who seems to have a lot of accidents? You might never experience these things because they are not where your thinking is taking you.
Dr. Len's message is simple. Take responsibility for everything that you see/experience and clean up that inside of yourself that needs the re-wiring. Some is conscious but most is beyond our mind. His tools for cleaning are 4 simple phrases. "I love you. I'm sorry. Please forgive me. and Thank you." This comes from the Hawaiian Ho'o pono pono. While I do not know much about this tradition, I see the value in what he teaches.
I also have the American cultural ideas of - this just sounds too simple to do much. I want to get in and work on the problem. That however could just get me more stuck in the problem like being in mud and spinning my tires to try and get out. If I'm feeling like I get the short end of the stick then working hard will only give me limited results. If I work on loving myself more and apologizing for my wrong thinking that keeps me stuck and then forgiving myself, well, then my efforts can go much farther. I'm playing with it. It's fun and it's easy to do. Try it yourself and let me know your results!!!